Anyone Have an Old Slide Projector? Because I Could, In Fact, Make This Even More Boring.

While in the Smokies, we stay in a great little chalet. I'd tell you the name of it, but I'm afraid you all might rush to the rental agency and we wouldn't get our sacred week next summer.

And, seriously, if I don't get the opportunity to turn down a soak in this jacuzzi tub each year, I simply don't know what I would do with myself. It's the many mirrors, people. I know they really light the fire for the less inhibited among us, but for the rest of us it's like submerging yourself in a pool of insecurity. Also, if you must know, we attempted it last year only to discover that the tub itself requires more hot water to perform than the hot water heater is capable of delivering. Fortunately, there is a second hot tub outside on the lower deck that calls my name on a regular basis. I would have taken a picture of it so you could compare and contrast, but, well, I was in it and couldn't hold onto my camera and glass of wine towel at the same time. You may all thank me later for my photographic oversight of this minor detail.

The upper deck has its charms as well.

It's a great place to cool off with a cold seltzer on a hot afternoon.

Or for sitting around watching your dad grill brats for dinner. It's even great for throwing things off of - like your most cherished green golf ball. Which sadly, is the same color as everything else you see when you look off the deck.

Thank goodness you have the kind of dad who understands the preciousness of this particular golf ball and is willing to brave the poison ivy to go find it for you.

He's also the type of guy that takes you on the alpine slide at Ober Gatlinburg.

Uncle Patrick takes your brother.

EGAD! WHERE ARE THE SEATBELTS?

Your dad definitely enjoys the ride down the mountain.

You like it a lot more when it's over.

Your brother, however, is totally feeling it.

The best thing about Ober Gatlinburg? This aerial tram you get to take to get up there.