Dear Laguna Beach, Why can't you be in North Carolina?

Let's talk about Laguna Beach.

First of all, it is rather far from Pasadena, CA where we were staying. And if Jeff is driving he cares more about trying to limit his own time behind the wheel than he does about trying to make the drive more visually enjoyable for his wife. How selfish. I can't imagine why he didn't want to take PCH down and be forced to stop at 1,113 traffic lights just so his wife could gaze for 3-hours upon her beloved Pacific.

Secondly, even at the end of July the beach is cold and I had forgotten that important little tidbit and dressed my children and myself entirely inappropriately for 60 degree weather. See this picture of Peyton with her Uncle Kevin?

In my heart of hearts, I truly believe she would be smiling sweetly if she hadn't been distracted by the sheet of ice forming on her upper lip.

Frigid temperatures also make taking a decent family picture out of the question no matter how much the family's beach-loving mother demands it.

Here we have Jeff and what looks to be his 4 children. One of them is grimacing and trying to get away. This is a slightly better composition, but Griffin and Peyton are both looking at something completely non-existent. How is it so hard to look at the guy holding the camera?

Here we found a more comfortable location, but we couldn't get Peyton out of the tide pool without incurring a raging tantrum. So we all got down there with her thinking that would solve the problem... but then she stood up and obliterated Jeff. Thus ended my valiant effort at a family beach shot. We don't so much need a professional photographer as we need a professional family. At this rate, it will be two decades before I send out another holiday card.

Thirdly, the rules of the beach have changed since I was there last. You'll note the snazzy swim vest on Carter.

Totally illegal. Apparently, he's supposed to learn how to go under the waves so that they don't pick him up and crush him. Who knew?

Here is some more illegal activity with his Aunt Emily. Apparently, adults cannot hold children and take them into the ocean. While it would seem that this would be safer than sending a 5-year old out on his own to battle the surf, I believe what they fear happening is this.

This would be a picture of a wave knocking them both off of their feet. They both survived, but I will say that this is the type of swimming experience that the YMCA waterpark just does not adequately prepare you for.

We stuck to the sand after that.

Peyton loved just rolling around in it.

Griffin built roads almost the entire time we were there.

And here is Carter being buried in the sand. It's at times like this when it really pays to be only 3 feet tall.

Fourthly, if you are going to make the haul down to Laguna, BJ's Pizza is really the only place in town that can provide adequate sustenance for the 1,113 traffic lights you are going to have to stop at on your way back to the 605. But it will be worth every bite.