Thursday, September 17, 2009

Worse Than Walking Around With Toilet Paper Stuck to the Bottom of Your Shoe

A few days ago, I decided to attempt to refinish the hideous 80's brass chandelier our home came with. I drug it out of the attic where I had banished it just 6 short years ago and carried it down to the garage, thinking I could hang it from the overhead garage door opener in the middle of the ceiling. That worked. The chandelier was both off the ground and able to spin freely. Then I laid an old sheet on the floor, moved our fleet of bikes out of the way, and proceeded to spray primer on the chandelier until it was a delightful shabby chic. Ten minutes later, after the primer had dried, I sprayed it with Krylon's Oil Rubbed Bronze. It was lovely. Not the design of the chandelier so much as the new color, but you've got to be able to give a little when you set out to repurpose rather than to buy new.

What I was ultimately hoping to do was to replace this brass monstrosity currently hanging in our entryway...
with a fixture that was a little more compatible with these pieces also found in our entryway.

My little DIY project was looking quite promising. Confidently, I went inside to get a glass of water and wait for the color to dry. A few minutes later, the professional painters power washing the outside of our house asked me to close the garage door so they could work in that area. Ever accommodating, and apparently very high on paint fumes, I enthusiastically hit the button which both closed the garage and sent my "new" chandelier crashing to the ground below. And that, my friends, is why I am not crafty.

The story continues. I left the drop cloth on the floor for a couple of days - mainly because after trashing the chandelier, I was out of time and had to race out to go pick up Carter from school. When I got back home with three tired and hungry kids, the drop cloth was kind of the last thing on my mind. Needless to say, I drove the van back into the garage over the sheet and parked on top of it. Since then we've been going in and out of the garage always on top of the sheet. Today, after dropping Carter off at school (far, far away), and Griffin and Peyton off at preschool (close, close to home), I had to drive back up to Mooresville which is even further away than Carter's school for a meeting. I got there, had my meeting, and walked back out to the van only to find that somehow the sheet had attached itself to the right back wheel. I had been dragging it like a flag all over town.

This is what it looked like when I finally got home - which was about half the length of what it was when I discovered it in Mooresville 20 miles earlier.

You can see that it is completely wound up in the wheel well.

Jeff unwinding miles of fabric from our car.

Rest assured, I am not going to try to repurpose it.


  1. Melanie, you are hysteical as always! I have to say though I am impressed with the way Jeff appears to be so patient as he is unwinding the sheet from the car!

  2. Lovely! We really should live nearer one another as I'm fairly certain we would be good friends!

  3. I simply DIED of laughter!!!!!!!!!! The mental picture of you driving around Charlotte with a sheet waving in the wind had me in hysterics. It is so something I would do, ALL of it!!! You are among friends.

    I too like how Patient Jeff looks. Eric would have an eye roll b/c he KNOWS how I am!!

  4. Just as I thought on your wedding day, I am still marveling at what will put up with for you. I would have been in hysterics on the outside reading this, but with three kids sleeping in the next room, my laughter is bubbling over on the inside. You never ever fail to deliver on storytelling.

    Miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Apparently I was soooo marveling at what Jeff will put up with you that I forgot to type his name in my last comment. Sorry Jeff.

  6. Hey! Stopped by your blog for a chuckle. You guys live life or at least seem to be able to write like that.

    Anyways, not disappointed today...thanks for the laughs as I pictured the ol loser-cruiser (minivan, and yes we have two cruising the town) zooming around the parking lots with some strands of something trailing. Heeelarious!

  7. Well, that was one of the funniest stories I've heard in a long time...and it totally sounds like something I would do too! Maybe it was something in the water at the Rift!