Friday, November 19, 2010

My First Sale, Vol. 1

This is a story about a Cameraman named Andy, and the awesome morning he had at our house.

Back in September, I came across an article in the Charlotte Observer announcing HGTV's show My First Sale would be taping in our area, and they were looking for "fun, high-energy people" to be on the show. Well. I am nothing if not high-energy. Also, our house had been on the market for 10 months at that point, and interest (if one can possibly refer to 11 showings in 10 months as interest) was waning. Obviously, I had nothing to lose except my privacy. And since I clearly do not value my privacy by virture of the fact that I occasionally blog, that seemed worth it to me. So I applied online and promptly forgot about it. Thus, when our phone rang a few weeks ago, I was stunned to discover that a) it was not a political call, and b) our application had made its way into the hands of a casting agent named Sami.

Sami listened very politely as I bored her with our current home sale story, which basically amounts to this: Depressed economy, blah, blah, blah, growing out of our house, blah, blah, blah, cannot compete with all of the foreclosures, blah, blah, blah, currently commuting 2.5 hours a day, blah, blah, blah, etc.. I knew our story was mundane and I didn't expect to hear from her again. By this time, our house had been on the market for almost a year, and Jeff and I were slowly realizing if we were ever going to dump the albatross that we needed to embrace a more agressive, forward-thinking sales approach. That's right. We needed to bring in someone with a decent Klout score.

Meet Lisa. She's our new realtor. Klout score = 58. My First Sale thought she would make for some great TV...or at least have the potential to drive some traffic to our house.
Lisa had prepped more than I had, which is why she was able to answer her set of questions in an intelligent and articulate manner.

So was Jeff. Although he was slightly more dramatic. If Wells Fargo doesn't work out, maybe he can get a job as a weatherman. This is his "cloudy day" face.
I, on the other hand, cried. Literally. The question I was responding to was simple: When I hand over the keys of My First Sale, I'll... But suddenly I was overcome with the realization that our current home still feels like sacred ground to me. We have experienced life changing events in this house, and my worst fear is not that we'll never receive an offer, but that we'll get one from some college guys that want to turn my Graceland into a frat house and trash the place. So my answer was weep. And then I did. Which is really quite pathetic considering all Sami asked us to do was, "Have fun with it! Smile a lot! Be happy!"

You would think my blubbering would have been the worst thing that could have happened, but no. When Andy filmed me and Jeff together, a rogue fly started flying around us and actually at one point landed on Jeff's nose. We flailed like idiots. Then Peyton crept in behind us and started playing with a really loud singing baby toy. After that, our dignity was pretty much circling the drain. Suffice it to say, if we eventually make an appearance on a bloopers reel somewhere, I think we can all be assured that the honor is well deserved.


  1. You are going to make great television! And I am certain that your place is much cleaner than some of the others that I have seen on the show. Please tell me that your home is cleaner? Please? Or tell me that you will be cleaning it before they aire your "dirty laundry". No matter what I look forward to seeing you on television. And your tv debut has to be better than a grade school friend that was on Clean House. Now you know that was just a plain-ole nasty, hot mess! Timmiria

  2. I laughed out loud so hard that I woke the Baby up!

  3. OMG, the episode featuring the Freshour's will be the best of the 2011 season.

  4. Oh please, please tell me this will air. You know crying makes for good TV too.